Children's whims and tantrums. What?

"I will not! Noooooot! "- The shrill cry of children covered the music playing in the lobby of the shopping center. The continuous stream of visitors flowed a small island in the escalator: curly-haired boy of four or five years lying on the floor, banging his hands and feet on the granite floor and heart-rending yelled. Near bustling disheveled mother, she tried unsuccessfully to raise the boy and looked around, embarrassed and apologetic expression on his face. People passed by, some held up to see - someone sympathetic, some condemnation. "It is not know how to raise children, strap on it crying!" - Contemptuously threw the heavy-set man. "Poor little thing, why it makes him, if he does not want to do something!" - Shook his head sympathetically skinny brunette. "Lord, well, when will this hell - then muttered blushing then blanching the boy's mother. - Another hysterical - and I go straight to the madhouse! "



Tantrums and whims - one of the main "gift" parents who wait maturing child. They are usually a peak in the age from 2 to 5 years - depending on sex and temperament kids. Reassuring that absolutely quiet and never been weeping and rough-kids just do not happen. The bad news - often parents, choosing the wrong strategy to conduct a problematic period of delay or even inadvertently move it to a pathological course.



Children's lament becomes a background sound in many families where a newborn appeared. Does not know how else to express their opinions and feelings tot signals that he needs help or attention. Psychologists believe that frequent crying and "bad" behavior in the age of 18 months are not a sign of proper capricious or hysteria: the child is still exploring the possibilities of their own behavior and the "test" their parents.



More demanding in infancy, children grow up completely calm and affectionate, if parents are not trying to "educate": the child attempts to instill some rules of behavior at this age would be useless, and a crying child and kuksyaschegosya usually enough to distract or give it attention, which he expects and deserve. Modern experts unequivocally agree that the practice of "vyplakivaniya", popular a decade ago (especially in habituated to fall asleep independently), brings negative results, adversely affecting the psyche of the little man.



So, if a child is subject to frequent changes of mood, or a case hysterics, we can not ignore it and let things drift. Respond necessarily need, but to respond correctly.



Theater begins with a scandal ...

To find out what the whim and where begins hysterical. In the pedagogical and psychological literature whim means striving to achieve the unachievable, or even forbidden. Whim may have weird, absurd and incomprehensible forms - a child refuses to eat soup and requires a pineapple, or want to immediately go to her grandmother in another town. Often very young children 2-3 years old, he can not really explain what they need, jumping from one to another - it's not the fact that their speech is underdeveloped, especially the immature thinking process: the child can not understand their desires and arrange them in order of size. Caprice - it's the same endless "do not want, I will not, I will, but it is not, give, take away."



Hysterics - is a game based on the audience, representation. Hysterics is reinforced by the more than active response of spectators - family members or bystanders. That is, the stronger your desire to reassure the child, to develop a devastating attack. Characteristic of it are loud cries, cries (often accusatory, addressed to the parents or accompanying persons), sometimes even self-mutilation (the child beats his head, pinching or scratching himself).



Whims and tantrums often go hand in hand, hysteria stems from a whim. Both phenomena could provoke any kind of discomfort, tiredness, uncomfortable clothes, poor health, including those caused by chronic sleep disorders or allergic attack. And the reason they have set, and the basis for most of them lies ... uncoordinated strategy of education and violation of authority within the family. This is particularly evident in cases where the child regularly hysterics one of the parents and behaves like a good girl to another. And when the "good" grandfather buys her mother banned Chupa Chups, suffer not only the mother - whims shatter the psyche of the child, forming his hysterical pattern, in which a person is accustomed to seek his assistance in the scandal.



If the child's behavior and the frequency of hysterical attacks from him cause you concern, be sure to consult a specialist. But first, try to find their own "key", locking kids bad behavior on the lock.

- Watch for a child to learn to feel when he starts to fall into "borderline" status. It is easier to prevent an attack than to fight, when he had already begun. Most important is the mode of the day - do not sacrifice sleep for the afternoon hike to the store, check to see that the child was hungry and did not feel thirsty, even if he played and he does not ask for food or water.

- Honestly and calmly warns of the consequences: if the child does not want to have that for dinner with the whole family, he will have to spend an evening alone in his room.

- Creatively uses the device switching attention, distracting started the naughty child. Distraction may be a game, action, observation.

- Do not forget that little actor, favoring hysterical performance, the audience is required. No matter how you find it difficult at this moment, turn away and walk away. Not react to what they are doing or saying outsiders. After attack discuss it with the child: let that be so behave, and if he wanted something, he wanted to ask you about it. Teach your child to apologize for misconduct. Keep his confidence that if he asks you about something politely and quietly, he very likely will get what they want.



"Mom, I hate you!"

For any mother there is nothing more painful those words, but, unfortunately, in a certain period of child development, they can sound out of his mouth. Of course, in our hearts we do know that in reality the baby can not hate my mother. But children's game does present a wound ...



The fact is that kids do not know the literature. If they are angry - they show it directly and by all means available. Encourage your child to more clearly identify and claim their emotions.

1. Read between

lines. Perhaps the words "I hate you" the child demonstrates his frustration, or fear, indirectly associated with you. Try to find out exactly what caused his "hatred".

2. Help him recognize anger. Discuss what he felt when angry, what events led to this. The child must remember the name of the emotions, to learn how to cope with it.

3. 'll Show the right words. Explain that instead of "I hate you" should have been to say "I'm angry and I need help." Emphasize the fact that you were hurt and uncomfortable because he used the wrong word.

4. Watch for them. Children are very careful to copy the behavior of the adults around them. This "hate" a child heard from someone in a similar situation and used without unnecessary reflections at the first opportunity.
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